What Is Gaslighting?
In recent times, with people becoming more and more vocal about mental health issues, gaslighting has become a common topic of conversation. You might have heard this word and wondered to yourself, “what is gaslighting?”.
Gaslighting refers to the psychological manipulation in which the manipulator tries to make someone question their memory, perception, judgment, intuition, or reality. The manipulator sows the seeds of self-doubt and confusion in the mind of the victim and seeks to gain power over them.
For example, a gaslighter might say, “You are too sensitive,” to invalidate the other person’s feelings. By doing so, they make the victim feel guilty about standing up for themself. Another example could be a gaslighter saying, “You have a terrible memory,” or “That never happened,” to make the other person doubt their memory.
As you can probably tell, gaslighting is a serious problem, and you should know the red flags associated with it to safeguard yourself from psychological abuse. And since it can happen at home or at work, it becomes doubly important to be aware of the warning signs.
How To Know If You’re Being “Gaslighted”
There are many warning signs or red flags you can look for to understand if you are being gaslighted. Let’s look at some of these below:
1) You’re Constantly Second-Guessing Yourself
A manipulator distorts your reality to the extent that you begin second-guessing yourself all the time. You might start doubting your abilities, memory, sanity, and intuition. You might also start believing everything the gaslighter says since you don’t have as much self-confidence as you used to. As such, you might feel like you just can’t get things right and feel disappointed in yourself as a result.
2) You Constantly Find Yourself Arguing With The Same Person
If you constantly find yourself arguing with the same person over and over again when you don’t actually intend to, this is a huge red flag. The gaslighter may be starting fights or arguments with you and blaming you for it. Plus, no matter how many times you try to explain your point of view, you just don’t feel like the other person is hearing you or understanding you.
3) You Feel Confused About Your Thoughts And Emotions
Again, the manipulation tactics of the gaslighter can leave you confused about your thoughts and emotions. As such, you might start questioning your judgments and observations. You might feel like you’re the one in the wrong and might spend a lot of time apologizing for your actions (even when it’s clearly not your fault).
4) You’re Always Making Excuses For Their Behavior
This one is tragic if you think about it. The gaslighter is the one doing all the manipulation, and yet, you might find yourself making excuses for their behavior. The damage of gaslighting can become so deep-rooted in your mind that you might feel the need to defend them all the time. As such, you might make excuses for them to family or friends. And you might even blame yourself for the way they treat you.
5) Being On Edge All The Time
If you feel nervous all the time, especially around the other person, this is a clear warning sign. Somehow your subconscious mind knows that you are in danger of abuse, and your body reacts in accordance to this fear. So, you might find yourself walking on eggshells around the other person and trying to do everything to not get them mad. You might even go out of your way to make them happy and satisfied.
Final Thoughts
Gaslighting is a serious problem, and there needs to be more awareness of the manipulation techniques that gaslighters use. This psychological form of abuse can happen in personal as well as professional relationships. As such, you need to understand the telltale signs of a gaslighter to make sure you protect yourself from their toxic behaviors.